Monday, November 23, 2009

DB'S - DIRTY BILLS

DB'S - DIRTY BILLS. My favorite new spot to have a good time. What can I say about this place? Lets see here. (scratches chin). It's long and narrow which makes it cool. Decent bathrooms with working locks. Cheap drinks. Great Bartenders. Some free video games. They have a Dirty's Limo which you can have pick you up (they work on Tips by the way).

Enjoy the pics and check this place out if you haven't.

http://dirtybill.com/







Thursday, November 12, 2009

UNHOLY SHIT!! DANZIG'S TOUR BUS CRAPPER



It's fair to say that every punk's black heart shrunk and shriveled to a wee size when the news that Danzig would be headlining Fun Fun Fun Fest 4 broke in the 2009. Let me preface this by underlining the fact that, no, the toilet on Danzig's tour bus does NOT have a little step stool. The diminutive singer who xeroxed the logo that is now made into lunchboxes and lightswitch plates for the gothy set is also the world's darkest Elvis impersonator, which means Danzig could die on the toilet one day!! This toilet pic could be historical!! My first punk record was the Dead Kennedys, and in all honesty, I view Danzig as something of a punchline, so imagine the snickers when a poo blog pal somehow gained super VIP entry to Danzig's tour bus and was able to get this shot.
Fun (Fun Fun) fact: Via Facebook, I learned that the reason Danzig's drummer's riser is so high is because Danzig doesn't like to bend down to get his water. Ooo-kayyy.
butter posted this!
Another fun (fun fun) fact: According to a great column in the Austin Chronicle, "Bringing the ceremony full circle, a fan took the stage after the band's festival closing apocalypse and, fulfilling a final wish, spread the ashes of her deceased friend where Glenn Danzig last stood. 'To tell you the truth,' admits Transmission's James Moody, 'we were all a bit freaked out by it.'"

If only she knew about Danzig's toilet!

The Horseshoe Lounge!!




The Horseshoe is one of South Lamar's oldest dive bars. This place has earned its stripes in getting Southies drunk, and continues the fine tradition in classic, rustic Austin style: gritty, sand-strewn shuffleboard court, faded UT banners, drinkers from weary and creased to fresh-faced (ahem), country to metal. Their bathrooms have an old-school feel and yet are quite accommodating. Perfect to accept your waste, whatever school your poo may be from.

Bender Bar!!






South Austin may have found its Jackalope - meaning, a bar that serves as a home base for punk and metal types - in this, the Bender Bar. The punny name is played upon with a robot theme, exemplified in art announcing the bathroom doors (ooh, metal and bendy). The night we went, we gave our camera to a pal to shoot the inside of http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifthe men's can and they accidentally (ahem) photographed a dude's head as he peed. Dude got all Poltergeist and screamed, "What's happening!?" Sorry, bro. Luckily, we did not get thrown out. The luck of the poo blog!!

Lustre Pearl!!





Ohh, this super cute house-cum-bar has a simply delightful bathroom, with goofy candy-colored-tiled walls and loads of space for the ladies to bond in. Perfect to poo in, too! And the house is way considerate to ladies - witness the almost bouquet-like arrangement of tampons, housed in a clear glass vase. Those are complimentary, ladies! Free tampons!

Monday, November 9, 2009

The Four Seasons Hotel, Austin




Hey, we take our job at the poo blog very seriously. Even the fanciest party at a world-class hotel is not free from our scrutiny. We will penetrate and photograph all of kinds of bathrooms, be they encrusted in marble and gold plate or fecal matter and hair. We are just that dedicated! So imagine the sheer glee in visiting the restrooms at the Four Seasons Hotel in Austin, a swanky yet still warm and friendly place (if you're not scaaared of its opulence) with truly bangin' bathrooms.

Witness the marble, the sheen, the almost cloth-but-still-disposable hand towels, and the best part: the toilet paper is folded to a point and then dabbed with a gold sticker to maintain its freshness and purity. We are agog. Well played, Four Seasons. Well played.

North Loop Mini Mart!!



Now that Sound on Sound has closed, I'd bet that beer, JOOSE, and Sparks sales from this grody mini-mart have plummeted like the hopes of the unemployed. We ran in during the North Loop iBiz block party (which ruled) and slipped back to the rest room to check things out. Amazingly, the can is not too gross, stocked with cleaning supplies and paper, and seems perfectly accommodating to accept your waste! Even though soda and other stuff is right outside the door, this is not Austin's grossest place to poop, not by a long shot. Three stars!!