Monday, August 31, 2009
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Today I was out driving around for my real job and I felt a Turtle Head peaking out. I was like where can I go to drop a turd?? Then it hit me. WHOLE FOODS!!!! Bathrooms are pretty clean and have those automatic flushers. Best part was after I was done I got a smoothie which was yummy.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Let it never be said that the poo blog has no sense of tradition and honor. Yes, no bathroom is ever safe, and everywhere is fair game, but awesome bathrooms are revered and treasured. And look how close the apple falls from the tree! This sweet dual flusher was recently installed by none other than Duece La Duece's very own MOM, who knows quality and cares about conserving water!! See the two little buttons by the pretty pretty purple tissue box? One is for poop, and the other pee. Regular old one-flush terlets use from 3.5 to 7 gallons per flush, and these new dual flusher johns use only 0.8 or 0.9 for fluid (pee) and 1.25 to 1.6 gallons for solid waste (poo!). Oh, and this is butter posting, and I got all the above info from a martha stewart publication (guess which one!!) and they refer further inquiries on the subject to dualflushtoilet.net. So yeah, in closing, Duce La Duece's mom rules and her terlet isn't bad either.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
We here at the Poo Blog are big fans of hot dogs. Herm's Palace, right outside Chicago in Evanston, IL, is an awesome family joint that doesn't use computers or even WRITE ANY ORDERS DOWN when you make them. They can literally remember the food orders of 40 people and not screw it up. Their food is sublime. But getting to the can is a challenge. You have to go downstairs (don't hit your head, the door is low clearance) to the basement. Spoooky.
If you're one of those Austinites that can name the exact date that this town stopped being cool, which has something to do with an icehouse closing, you may very likely hate FRANK. We wouldn't know how cool Austin was; we moved here long after Austin stopped being cool and are using up all the water and jobs that are left, and making fun of select bathrooms in our spare time.
FRANK is a spanking-new hot dog joint that tries to look old and makes and slings "artisanal" sausages. That means fancily hand-crafted. FRANK is a hipster/yuppie joint that does have decent food, but even the noobs in town will pop their Yankee monocles at tallboys of beer priced at $3. Gasp anew at the baskets of waffle fries, which will set you back $7. In case you wondered where the hell FRANK is spending all that cash, let us show you. Their bathrooms are strip-club fancy with granite sinks and a cool toilet paper holder (not pictured) that made us want a bigger bag so we could steal it. But stealing is wrong. Wrong!! Almost as wrong as charging $8 for a beef sausage sandwich. Oh, calm down we bitch because we love.
We love cheap shitty dive bars as much if not more than the next person, and true to form, the Liberty Bar is a drunk's dream come true: Two vodka sodas and a Lone Star cost just $8.50 when we visited. Even though this joint is brand-new, it's pretty clear the owners spent more time curating the graffiti art and packing down the dirt in the bocce ball court than fixing up the bathrooms. The ladies' is a tactical disaster: swinging doors made of plywood, even when carved in a charming, Western saloon style, do not work. They neither open nor will they properly close. This means instant bonding , as every single woman attempting to use said loo will utter a "What the hell" which will be echoed by an "I KNOW, RIGHT!!" Also, the mirrors are in a disastrous state. Warning us that they're about to collapse is not quite good enough when someone is bleeding. The men's room has a trough - so old school. Yet another great bar with a shitty bathroom. Home at last.
Friday, August 7, 2009
Tucked away in the corner of a Clarion, the Mesa Ranch is a super-cute extreme-Texan-themed restaurant and bar. Kickass cuisine, fierce margaritas, live music (often with no cover), and yes, kitchy, tin-sign taxidermy crap all over the walls including the bathrooms!! We totally walked in on a dude trying to pee (we knocked, he hadn't locked the door and I guess dudes walk in on each other all the time when they're pissing. Gross!) so we hope you like the pic of the urinal, which is adjacent to dangling mega-fishing lures. The ladies' room door says "COWGIRLS," naturally. The paper towel holder is a tooled leather basket and a metal sign underlines the serious importance of continued, dedicated drinking. The Mesa Ranch is fun, we'll be back.