FRANK

If you're one of those Austinites that can name the exact date that this town stopped being cool, which has something to do with an icehouse closing, you may very likely hate FRANK. We wouldn't know how cool Austin was; we moved here long after Austin stopped being cool and are using up all the water and jobs that are left, and making fun of select bathrooms in our spare time.

FRANK is a spanking-new hot dog joint that tries to look old and makes and slings "artisanal" sausages. That means fancily hand-crafted. FRANK is a hipster/yuppie joint that does have decent food, but even the noobs in town will pop their Yankee monocles at tallboys of beer priced at $3. Gasp anew at the baskets of waffle fries, which will set you back $7. In case you wondered where the hell FRANK is spending all that cash, let us show you. Their bathrooms are strip-club fancy with granite sinks and a cool toilet paper holder (not pictured) that made us want a bigger bag so we could steal it. But stealing is wrong. Wrong!! Almost as wrong as charging $8 for a beef sausage sandwich. Oh, calm down we bitch because we love.