DB'S - DIRTY BILLS

DB'S - DIRTY BILLS. My favorite new spot to have a good time. What can I say about this place? Lets see here. (scratches chin). It's long and narrow which makes it cool. Decent bathrooms with working locks. Cheap drinks. Great Bartenders. Some free video games. They have a Dirty's Limo which you can have pick you up (they work on Tips by the way).

Enjoy the pics and check this place out if you haven't.

http://dirtybill.com/

UNHOLY SHIT!! DANZIG'S TOUR BUS CRAPPER

It's fair to say that every punk's black heart shrunk and shriveled to a wee size when the news that Danzig would be headlining Fun Fun Fun Fest 4 broke in the 2009. Let me preface this by underlining the fact that, no, the toilet on Danzig's tour bus does NOT have a little step stool. The diminutive singer who xeroxed the logo that is now made into lunchboxes and lightswitch plates for the gothy set is also the world's darkest Elvis impersonator, which means Danzig could die on the toilet one day!! This toilet pic could be historical!! My first punk record was the Dead Kennedys, and in all honesty, I view Danzig as something of a punchline, so imagine the snickers when a poo blog pal somehow gained super VIP entry to Danzig's tour bus and was able to get this shot.
Fun (Fun Fun) fact: Via Facebook, I learned that the reason Danzig's drummer's riser is so high is because Danzig doesn't like to bend down to get his water. Ooo-kayyy.
butter posted this!
Another fun (fun fun) fact: According to a great column in the Austin Chronicle, "Bringing the ceremony full circle, a fan took the stage after the band's festival closing apocalypse and, fulfilling a final wish, spread the ashes of her deceased friend where Glenn Danzig last stood. 'To tell you the truth,' admits Transmission's James Moody, 'we were all a bit freaked out by it.'"

If only she knew about Danzig's toilet!

The Horseshoe Lounge!!

The Horseshoe is one of South Lamar's oldest dive bars. This place has earned its stripes in getting Southies drunk, and continues the fine tradition in classic, rustic Austin style: gritty, sand-strewn shuffleboard court, faded UT banners, drinkers from weary and creased to fresh-faced (ahem), country to metal. Their bathrooms have an old-school feel and yet are quite accommodating. Perfect to accept your waste, whatever school your poo may be from.

Bender Bar!!

South Austin may have found its Jackalope - meaning, a bar that serves as a home base for punk and metal types - in this, the Bender Bar. The punny name is played upon with a robot theme, exemplified in art announcing the bathroom doors (ooh, metal and bendy). The night we went, we gave our camera to a pal to shoot the inside of http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifthe men's can and they accidentally (ahem) photographed a dude's head as he peed. Dude got all Poltergeist and screamed, "What's happening!?" Sorry, bro. Luckily, we did not get thrown out. The luck of the poo blog!!

Lustre Pearl!!

Ohh, this super cute house-cum-bar has a simply delightful bathroom, with goofy candy-colored-tiled walls and loads of space for the ladies to bond in. Perfect to poo in, too! And the house is way considerate to ladies - witness the almost bouquet-like arrangement of tampons, housed in a clear glass vase. Those are complimentary, ladies! Free tampons!

The Four Seasons Hotel, Austin

Hey, we take our job at the poo blog very seriously. Even the fanciest party at a world-class hotel is not free from our scrutiny. We will penetrate and photograph all of kinds of bathrooms, be they encrusted in marble and gold plate or fecal matter and hair. We are just that dedicated! So imagine the sheer glee in visiting the restrooms at the Four Seasons Hotel in Austin, a swanky yet still warm and friendly place (if you're not scaaared of its opulence) with truly bangin' bathrooms.

Witness the marble, the sheen, the almost cloth-but-still-disposable hand towels, and the best part: the toilet paper is folded to a point and then dabbed with a gold sticker to maintain its freshness and purity. We are agog. Well played, Four Seasons. Well played.

North Loop Mini Mart!!

Now that Sound on Sound has closed, I'd bet that beer, JOOSE, and Sparks sales from this grody mini-mart have plummeted like the hopes of the unemployed. We ran in during the North Loop iBiz block party (which ruled) and slipped back to the rest room to check things out. Amazingly, the can is not too gross, stocked with cleaning supplies and paper, and seems perfectly accommodating to accept your waste! Even though soda and other stuff is right outside the door, this is not Austin's grossest place to poop, not by a long shot. Three stars!!

Everyone Poop's Trailer

Spike Jonze! Funny shit

Rio Grande

This, the former Real World Austin house, is a fun, slightly glam Mexican restaurant that always has live music and can get boisterous at times. Good food (like fish tacos and watermelon martinis) and look how cute the bathrooms are! We love the blue paint, flowers, and gorgeous terra cotta tiles. Viva Rio Grande!

Bull McCabe's

This lovely dive marries all the better amenities of an Irish pub (darts, Guinness, road signs in Gaelic) with a Red River dive bar (it's on Red River and is a dive bar). Man were we ever pleased when we tagged along for a drink after hanging a Headhunter's for a minute. Bull McCabe's bathrooms are very efficient, and we do appreciate the DWI lawyer's strategically placed ad.

Gumbo's/The Historic Brown Building

One night we got to go to Gumbo's for a luxurious dinner of tasty New Orleans-styled cuisine. Gumbo's is in the historic Brown Building, which according to its wiki page, was completed in 1938 and was home to the holding corporation for the Lyndon Johnson family. So you can bet Ladybird Johnson has pooed in here! And maybe even Jackie O! In the 2000s, this awesome building was converted to loft apartments, but the bathroom still enjoys a semi-public status, at least if one is stealthy enough and looks like they're just popping in while en route to a fancy restaurant or condo. Despite its young age, the building was added to the National Register of Historic Places in 1997, so this has got to be one of the most important terlets added to the poo blog next to the ones in the Capitol! And we really dig the tile! Black grout keeps it looking awesome even after seventy years.

POO BLOGGER!

WE LIKE PRACTICAL JOKES!!

WE HERE AT THE POO BLOG LIKE PRACTICAL JOKES THEREFORE I TOOK A PIC OF MY POO WHICH LOOKED LIKE A SNAKE. MY ROOMIE SAID IT LOOKED LIKE A HOT DOG HENCE THE PHOTO SHOP

DAILY DEUCE!!

The Austin Poo Blog crew are big fans of Daily Juice but even bigger fans of DAILY DEUCE!!!!

If you see this car around town be sure to honk and give a nice wave!

WHOLE FOODS (Downtown... Mens)

Today I was out driving around for my real job and I felt a Turtle Head peaking out. I was like where can I go to drop a turd?? Then it hit me. WHOLE FOODS!!!! Bathrooms are pretty clean and have those automatic flushers. Best part was after I was done I got a smoothie which was yummy.







-Matt

DUECE LA DUECE'S MOM'S TOILET!!!!!!!!!!!!

Let it never be said that the poo blog has no sense of tradition and honor. Yes, no bathroom is ever safe, and everywhere is fair game, but awesome bathrooms are revered and treasured. And look how close the apple falls from the tree! This sweet dual flusher was recently installed by none other than Duece La Duece's very own MOM, who knows quality and cares about conserving water!! See the two little buttons by the pretty pretty purple tissue box? One is for poop, and the other pee. Regular old one-flush terlets use from 3.5 to 7 gallons per flush, and these new dual flusher johns use only 0.8 or 0.9 for fluid (pee) and 1.25 to 1.6 gallons for solid waste (poo!). Oh, and this is butter posting, and I got all the above info from a martha stewart publication (guess which one!!) and they refer further inquiries on the subject to dualflushtoilet.net. So yeah, in closing, Duce La Duece's mom rules and her terlet isn't bad either.

POO BLOG ON TOUR!! Herm's Palace, Chicago, IL

We here at the Poo Blog are big fans of hot dogs. Herm's Palace, right outside Chicago in Evanston, IL, is an awesome family joint that doesn't use computers or even WRITE ANY ORDERS DOWN when you make them. They can literally remember the food orders of 40 people and not screw it up. Their food is sublime. But getting to the can is a challenge. You have to go downstairs (don't hit your head, the door is low clearance) to the basement. Spoooky.

FRANK

If you're one of those Austinites that can name the exact date that this town stopped being cool, which has something to do with an icehouse closing, you may very likely hate FRANK. We wouldn't know how cool Austin was; we moved here long after Austin stopped being cool and are using up all the water and jobs that are left, and making fun of select bathrooms in our spare time.

FRANK is a spanking-new hot dog joint that tries to look old and makes and slings "artisanal" sausages. That means fancily hand-crafted. FRANK is a hipster/yuppie joint that does have decent food, but even the noobs in town will pop their Yankee monocles at tallboys of beer priced at $3. Gasp anew at the baskets of waffle fries, which will set you back $7. In case you wondered where the hell FRANK is spending all that cash, let us show you. Their bathrooms are strip-club fancy with granite sinks and a cool toilet paper holder (not pictured) that made us want a bigger bag so we could steal it. But stealing is wrong. Wrong!! Almost as wrong as charging $8 for a beef sausage sandwich. Oh, calm down we bitch because we love.

The Liberty Bar

We love cheap shitty dive bars as much if not more than the next person, and true to form, the Liberty Bar is a drunk's dream come true: Two vodka sodas and a Lone Star cost just $8.50 when we visited. Even though this joint is brand-new, it's pretty clear the owners spent more time curating the graffiti art and packing down the dirt in the bocce ball court than fixing up the bathrooms. The ladies' is a tactical disaster: swinging doors made of plywood, even when carved in a charming, Western saloon style, do not work. They neither open nor will they properly close. This means instant bonding , as every single woman attempting to use said loo will utter a "What the hell" which will be echoed by an "I KNOW, RIGHT!!" Also, the mirrors are in a disastrous state. Warning us that they're about to collapse is not quite good enough when someone is bleeding. The men's room has a trough - so old school. Yet another great bar with a shitty bathroom. Home at last.

Mesa Ranch South

Tucked away in the corner of a Clarion, the Mesa Ranch is a super-cute extreme-Texan-themed restaurant and bar. Kickass cuisine, fierce margaritas, live music (often with no cover), and yes, kitchy, tin-sign taxidermy crap all over the walls including the bathrooms!! We totally walked in on a dude trying to pee (we knocked, he hadn't locked the door and I guess dudes walk in on each other all the time when they're pissing. Gross!) so we hope you like the pic of the urinal, which is adjacent to dangling mega-fishing lures. The ladies' room door says "COWGIRLS," naturally. The paper towel holder is a tooled leather basket and a metal sign underlines the serious importance of continued, dedicated drinking. The Mesa Ranch is fun, we'll be back.

Silhouette Sushiya

In the shadow of the Capitol building is Silhouette Sushiya, a totally cool sushi, cocktail and karaoke bar. We love it for lunch, the art on the walls, and the extended happy hours during which we feel like such grown-ups as we get smashed. And man, is the ladies' bathroom ever sweet! They are as sophisticated as the rest of the place, and even elegant with the honkin' chandeliers and glass bowl sink that reminds us of the one we used at Rick's Cabaret . In another life, we would have been tempted to stuff the awesome, organic hand soap resting on the dark wooden cabinet into our handbag . But those days are over and we plan to return to Silhouette soon, so we just washed up with the free-range lovely suds, took these pics and left.